One minute you hate somebody, then you love them...I feel so stupid! But at the same time...I dont really care, because Im just not ready to let go of him, because I love him just that much, and I am to the point of not caring wtf people think either. I love that boy. && and I pray he loves me... I sit up and wonder if he thinks about me as much as I do. He is always on my mind. Things about the future, things I want now, things I pray for, both for me as well as him. I feel like I need him...Soo much, but I need a lot of other stuff too. Like I said, constant reassurance that I am the only one...its time for the public relationship...I need that. I need to feel secure, and not like I'm some secret from the world. I want to tell the world just how much he means to me, but I wont do that if I dont get it in return...
humm...Valentines Day was good. We really werent going to spend the day together, but I drove down, because I needed to see him, and be with him just that bad. I am on the recovery to being a better person...a nicer person...a sweeter person...and generally happier person...For myself, as well as other. I am sure it will take time to fully be all that and more, but I am positive in time it will happen. As long as he is willing to support me, and make me feel special, and like I FINALLY matter, I think the future will hold positive things...
Hahaha on another note...while Me & Prince (my pom) were down visiting....The funniest thing happened. I was having a conversation with Jesse while he took a hot bath...and we left Prince in the room. Jesse had just got home from work, with a hot pizza from him favorite pizza place called Scribs. I dont know why he left the pizza out on the bed...big mistake..!! I had went in the room to check on Prince once while we were talking, and the pizza was still there...in the matter of the next ten minutes...while he got out the tub, and we went back into the room, the pizza was completely distroyed!!! haha I thought he was going to kill my poochie pooch! It was soo damn funny though!! He already cant stand the fact that I got a dog, and now he ate his beloved Scribs...man oh man....funny shit!! lmbo! karma comes back in weird ways hahaha...cuz that shit was EPIC!
well world...Im outta here...and going to sleep!! & I doubt he reads this...but I love ya...!
Peace, Love, & Blessings...
Tia Renia
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