Everyday I wake up, and pray and hope that I will fee better from the day before. Why does love make you feel this way. This is that BULLSHIT! When will I wake up, and not feel angry anymore... I'm mad at myself, I'm mad because he doesnt seem to give a shit, I'm just flat out mad. Then last night, my own mama didnt make me feel any better, putting her nose in business that she dont shit about. But you know what...once I am gone, I won't have to listen anymore! Boy let me tell...moving BACK home was the worst decision ever, and deciding to stay so long was the worst decision ever. I feel like I enabled his bullshit behavior by staying. Don't get me wrong, its not my fault...but I feel dumb because I let him get away with everything... I need to figure some shit out...like right now!! Because...this whole break-up shit is wearing me down. He know damn well this break-up was from him...Stop trying to pretend like its ME who needs relationship counseling....I know how to act if only you treated me friggin well...and stop cheating & shit! UGH!!!! IM SO MAD!!!!!!
On another Note... I need to figure out a way to make some money like now! Before I move. I can't go anywhere with out some funds...but I stay in the worst possible state ever, where employment is close to non-existent... It really sucks here... So on top of being screwed over by people I Love, I have been looking for a job for the past few months in a depressing ass state like Michigan.. I mean damn..If I gotta be broke, can I at least be broke by the beach...lol Then maybe I could at least have some fun while Im broke...SMH...I have family, and 1 friend in California. I wasnt close to the family there, and the friend there is a guy -__- I dont even want to put myself in a position like that right now! Cuz just being friends with men,is damn near impossible inless they are gay...so he is out of the question...lol ugh!! I pray & hope tomorrow I wake up, and feel better....
Peace, Love, & Blessings...
Tia Renia
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