Love Is...

The Undeniable feeling, force of emotions that bombard our hearts multiple times within our short lives...It has to be THE most powerful emotion ever...When love is good, the feeling is great. Truly can't be described. The feeling of wholeness & security...It does feel damn good. Why is it that we get confused during a relationship, mistaking being comfortable, with being in love.. I'm a firm believer of the fact that Love isnt suppose to hurt. Love is Honest, Trustworthy, & Faithful.

Honesty: Be Honest with every person you love..Anybody can respect a person who's honest...Even if the truth does hurt..

Trustworthy: You should be able to trust that person or whomever with your life...Enough Said.

Faithful: Never Betray the one you love. Once you do, your relationship will never be the same...ever.

I can admit, I have trouble with love. I love  people who dont seem to return it as much as I give it out.

I love my family, God know's I do, but they seriously got some tough love. Very Tough. I can probably count the number of times on one hand that we ever vocally expressed our love for one another.

LOL once puberty hit though, I thought I finally found out what love was.. Ya know the butterflies in your stomach type of feeling...Puppy love is what that was..haha its funny now, but dammit it wasnt funny back then. I truly thought I was love with this one guy from my neighborhood...boy let me tell you, I had it rough...lol I think I can honestly say that was my first unofficial boyfriend...lol even if we did keep our likeness for one another a secret...lol...

Then came time for college...and I got hit HARD! My 1st & Only OFFICIAL relationship...Let me tell you..I thought he could walk on water... I didnt care what he did..nothing else mattered but my love for him...& his love for me...smh... I can't lie though the feeling that I felt was the best feeling ever.... How do you get back to that feeling?

How? How? How?

Oh how I want to feel that way again....All I feel now is bullshit, lies, and whole heap of other shit. I thought love wasnt suppose to hurt? How do I make each day feel good again. I wanna feel the love, I need to feel it, I yearn to feel it..

Why does it feel like we're in the comfortable stage...Ya know the one, where you just stay in the relationship, just because its comfortable.. I dont want that. I wanna smile & know I'm the only one like I use too... I wanna be loved, feel love & love hard again.

LOVE...

That powerful emotion that makes you do the most craziest things & when it feels good... It feels damn good...but when it hurts, it feels like somebody died.

LOVE...

I want to be able to love hard again..Lord Help me Love hard again.

I have to admit...Right now everything that has to do with love in my life seems hopeless...Like a bottomless pit...

You can call me wrong, but when I know a person is lying to me, its kind of impossible for me to move forward. Friends, Family significant others, it doesnt matter. I cant love a person 100% who cant be honest with me.

Why is that? Why do people lie? Why is it that they always blame shit on some sort of coincidence. God knows I lie too...but whenever I get caught, I tell the truth...Why? Because secrets are lethal. And they hurt a lot worse when they creep out of no where.

All I want is to feel alive again...Why Cant I feel that? WHY? I'll tell you why, Lies & Love dont mix...They never will.

Trust... One Must trust the people they love. You should know everyday that nothing can come between the two of you, because you trust that person wholeheartedly.

God I have to ask you, why is it everytime I turn around I am finding out that the people that I love and trust cant be trusted? Why is that? Hummm...

I consider myself a strong person. However nothing has made me drop more tears than love itself. UGH! What a horrible feeling!

Love isnt suppose to hurt right? WRONG! It does..It really truly does..I want to love hard again, but if I do I risk falling many more tears again....Thats some unfair shit. Mankind aint shit..That 1 thing is obvious & marriage is a crock of crap too...people dont love the way they use too...

I do...I just want somebody to love me back wholeheartedly too..