Life's Lesson's

After coming to terms with a few things...I've learned over the years that some stuff just cant be forced. A relationship is one of them.. You can love a person all day and all night long...but once they hurt you...(multiple times in my case) you are constantly on guard. My question is...how do you learn to let go of your pain? I for 1...hold the pain inside my heart, and it is definitely self-destructing me. In my case, I was in love/am still in love..(cant lie) with a man who doesn't understand the severity of the pain he caused me. He doesn't, understand the pain I go through being with him.. The reason behind the things I do. Thinking I act out... I act out, and the only time I feel he actually listened or cared was when I did act out. Why is it men don't listen to you until you act out? Or maybe it was my fault... I did let him get away with murder...so I probably did bring a lot of hell onto my self. Why is it though, that woman end up suffering so much more than men. Men carry on with their lives... Woman linger on. I guess that's why we got the whole idea of, woman loving a whole lot harder than men. Maybe if we as women learned to live our lives out as men...our hearts wouldn't be broken nearly as much... hummm