Depression

Symptoms of depression in women include:

• persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
• loss of interest or pleasure in activities, including sex
• restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying
• feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism
• sleeping too much or too little, early-morning awakening
• appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
• decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down"
• thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
• difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
• persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

Every symptom listed is something I struggle with day to day. I feel so alone in this world. It makes it that much worse that I constantly have to deal with huge life let-downs. I hurt all over, and nobody see's it. I have nobody to talk too about how I feel. I stay in my apartment day in, day out with my infant son and every single day I see myself get worse and worse. There is no point in talking to Jesse....He just doesnt get it! He expects me to be normal. He expects me to cook, clean, go to school. go to work do everything as if I don't feel like dying every single day. He makes me feel worse.... Emotionally he just isnt there because he doesnt understand..... And on top of that he expects me to deal with what he has put me through the past 6-7 months.

Aside from that I feel like a bad mama. I cry in front of my son all the time... I love him so much but the way I feel everyday affects everything about me.I am so tempted to just leave today. LEAVE. I am sick of waking up feeling like this without an avenue to go down. Im stuck in a city with no family, no friends...no body here for me that I can trust to help me until I am able to get it together. I have been struggling since 2008. Since then, none of the things that were important to me became important anymore. I just stopped caring. Completely stopped. Home alone, and just done...