It's been Awhile

I can't even begin to fill in what's wrong with my life. I have a beautiful son. He truly has my heart ❤. But I feel extremely dead inside. I hate who I am. Absolutely HATE. There is not one damn thing I can do to change it. I'm so trapped. I'm up crying right now, and having a drink. I'm always crying. I hate who Tia has become. I have so much vengeance, resentment, anger, bitterness, sadness, regret etc in my heart. I don't want these things in my heart. HATE.... I live for my son because if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't care to be here....that's just how much pain I'm in right now.