:-(

I'm laying in bed... And the only thing I really feel like doing right now is climbing out the got damn window and jumping. I am sick of people telling me shii will be ok because all they are doing is lying. I'm in a relationship that hasn't worked in the 4 & half years I've been in it. I have a family who really doesn't exist... I'm basically homeless... I'm dead broke... Teeth falling out my head... And trust me the list could go on and on. Every year it is something new. Every week I have SOME NEW BATTLE. I am sick of it. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and I truly don't know how to fix it. I'm laying here crying, lonely, and downright depressed and nobody not even jesses ass who is laying right next to me truly understand how I feel. (2 be honest I don't think he cares deep down) I put on a front for my friends because I'm always the one who everybody comes too. I'm the one who always seems so strong. Who always seems to have it together and deep down I envy them the most. I never see or hear about them struggling the way I do or facing the issues I do. I'm just tired. I feel like running out this house and walking until I fall out somewhere... I'm feel trapped in my own body. Trapped in my mind. I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a fucking room full of people screaming and nobody even fucking notices. I'm sitting here wonderIng if I died today who would truly miss me??? Like seriously. Miserable doesn't even began to cover the way I feel inside. I pray to God eerynight to come into my heart. Please I just want to know you are there. And I never get a word. I feel downright hopeless fake abused misused battered let down hurt sad depressed and everything else. God save me please because I'm drowning in myself and I need to feel you there....