Its another late night for me. Its almost 3am Eastern Time. Im up alone, and lonely... I can't say that much has happened for me the past few days. Still the same ole same ole. I just feel like I'm living a life that definitely inst for me, and it kind of sucks.. :-/ I have no choice but to continue to be patient...I guess...
Wish Jesse was with me right now...But he is kind of wrapped up in his own life right now which is fine I guess... Although if I had my way we'd be around each other ALL the time. I love being near him just that much. I really do. I think he gets tired of me after awhile though...lol
I had a conversation with my mother again...and she had all types of plans to buy all this stuff, and not once did she mention paying my school bill that was suppose to have been payed 3 years ago. I am getting so upset about it that I could cry. Thats just how bad I am ready to stop playing around at these wack ass Community Colleges, and finish up at a University. Jesse dont get it either, he wants me to go do a 9month type of program at a medical school or something, but that is NOT what I want to do with my life. I dont see him going to school for something he didnt want to do, so why the hell should I? At the same time....I don't have anything else to do, and I am frustrated about it. It sucks that I can't just go t another school, and finish. They wont let me without my transcripts from CMU. :-( arrgghh!! I truly am just stuck....with no job, no money, no nothing...and I am stone cold miserable... and I mean every bit of that. Everybody keeps telling me not to worry, to pray to GOD about it, etc. And I have, and I still wake up feeling like a failure, and that is NOT a good feeling. I just want to go to school......and I can't. So yep, I'm miserable. I have been looking for a job for months....I really am in a slump lol...Shit sucks major donkey balls too...!! Well I am totally sick all of a sudden so I am going to go find some TheraFlu and call it night...!!
Peace, Love, & Blessings...
Tia Renia
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